At Cheeky Preparatory, we always strive for excellence. However, we are aware of the pressure that students are faced with, both socially and mentally. Often students are hesitant to go to a teacher or other authority figure for advice. This semester, we’ve given a senior student the opportunity to provide wisdom to their fellow classmates.
Dear AACS,
So I have this test coming up, but I haven’t been able to study for it. In fact, I haven’t even been in class. Every time I think things are chill and I can just sit down and relax, I keep getting called out! One time it was because I “snuck out” after hours. Another time it was because they thought I was the one who moved all the chairs out of the classrooms…I did tho. But I had help! Anyway, by the time I make it back to my room, I’m already so tired that I don’t even feel like I have time to study. But this exam counts for 30 percent of my grade. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Testy
Dear Testy,
First of all, how did you manage to get those chairs on the roof? That’s the real question…
Whatever. I’ll ask you after third period. Anyway! Studying is honestly overrated. In ten years when your parents name a library after you, no one will care tbh. But if you really want a good grade, meet me by the lockers after gym class. My friend Tre has the answers to literally every test - they just recycle the same ones every few years.
Dear AACS,
So I just enrolled this semester and I’m loving Cheeky Prep so far! I have such great classes, my teachers are great, and there are so many fun extracurriculars! The only problem is that I just started dating this guy and I feel like we barely have time for each other anymore. :( I really like him a lot but I don’t want to give up drama club, or soccer, or model UN…what should I do?
Sincerely,
Booked, Busy, and In Love
Dear Booked, Busy, and in Love,
Honestly you lost me at “I have such great classes”. But I need to answer these in order to get the extra credit so let me try that again.
…Okay. So you were serious. Wow. Well BBAIL, thank you for at least giving me an easy (albeit boring) problem to solve. If you don’t want to give up any of your extracurriculars, then don’t! Just stop going to class. Have a trusted friend pretend to be you for that one class that has a new teacher every semester, or simply show up at the beginning of class, then fake an emergency. I can send you a map of all the best makeout/hiding spots.
Anyway, that’s all the questions I have time to answer right now. Turns out Principal Hayes just got my draft of this column and he wants to see me in his office? Until next time!
HEY BESTIES. Mr. Hayes told me to wait in the corner but there's someone asking about a raise so I have time for one more question.
Dear AACS,
I'm nervous about the upcoming spring session and prom! I've wanted to come to the academy for a long time, but I don't know what to expect. Help!
Sincerely,
Ready but Not Quite Willing,
Dear Ready but Not Quite Willing,
Imagine wanting to come to the academy? Couldn't be me. But if you wanna go so bad, I’ll tell you the truth…
It’s kinda fun. I mean, you get a full day of classes, and you get to hang out with your friends, and maybe sometimes you get in trouble? But like they feed you and we’re even having a prom this year. Still…I’ve never heard of anyone actually wanting to go, (blink twice if you’re okay) but if you’re sure, you can fill out this form here. Weirdo.
Shit, someone left his office looking really sad (and rubbing her bottom, I guess no raise?) and he’s looking at me so I have to go for real now. Until next time!
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